I have just done another three questionnaires as part of my path to diagnosis. I was told to answer the questions on how I am on a bad day. None of the questions covered what a bad day is for me. Can I tie my shoes – Yes, can I still do it on a bad day – yes. Same with holding a conversation, just on a bad day I may not want to talk to anyone or be interested in what they have to say or have the patience to be polite when these apply but I am still capable of doing it, the other party may not be pleased with me, but hey, they started it.
What is a bad day for me?
A bad day is when I can’t eat the foods I like, even though I may be hungry, because the taste or the texture of the food may be wrong even though they are no different.
A bad day is not being able to complete tasks because I can’t work out the logical sequence for the tasks to happen.
A bad day is not being able to complete even a simple task because of an issue or roadblock that I can’t get past.
I may not be able to get out of bed because I can’t work out a sequence for the subsequent tasks, ones as simple as cleaning my teeth and eating food. When push comes to shove I can get up to use the toilet but need to return to bed as soon as it is done because I can’t work out what to do if I don’t. Habit and routine will get me through the basics of toileting and washing my hands, but that’s about it.
A bad day can start good, I can wake up happy with a list of things I want to do. (I never wake up without some sort of list in my head) It can quickly go down hill. I may be able to sequence my events into a logical order. Something simple may disrupt things (no milk for breakfast) and the whole day day can become impossible. A good day I can have toast, a bad day I can’t get past the absence of milk, and even if I have everything I need for the subsequent task I can not move forward (you may be interested in my Ant posts here).
A bad day is not about tying shoes or constructing coherent sentences in context. If someone tells me to put my shoes on or to talk I could do it. A bad day is not being able to work out WHEN I should put my shoes on (which shoes is not an issue, I wear the same shoes every day, choosing the socks I want to wear can be a different story) or not being able to work out what I should say or who I should say it to or even if I want to say it in the first place.
I'm not broken 