Do you ever feel that you are a cat, and the rest of the world is charged with static electricity. Just a constant feeling of discomfort like when your hair is standing on end, and every time you you have to interact with reality it makes you want to hiss and spit. No matter what side of the door you are on, you want to be on the other side.
Welcome to my Sunday.
My positive visualisation which can help a little is walking on path by a stream edge, listening to the water, the birds, and the sounds of the bush. Only very distance noises of humanity if there are any at all. I would love to make the visualisation a reality to truly calm my soul, but with the current restrictions I don’t think a quiet walk in the bush counts as essential travel.
I wonder if those nature sound tracks might help, but when ever I have heard them in shops they sound so fake and out of context. I need the other sensory input too, the smell of fresh air, the feel of the breeze and the sun. The feel of the shade under the trees, the damp earth. Things rustling in the undergrowth.
I imagine a cabin I can return to after my walk. There is a wood fire, I could smell the smoke as I returned. The people who aren’t there have made a meal for me and restocked the wood box. I can relax for the rest of the day, enjoy the sounds and the feel of the surroundings. Maybe read a book. Spend the night snuggled deep in the bed, the magic of the fire means it doesn’t go out even if I don’t get up through the night to add wood. In the morning I can pack up my things and return to the real world but today I think I need to pretend it isn’t there.
I'm not broken 